Leaked! A secret conversation between Trump and Mick Mulvaney

[Mulvaney is Trump’s Acting Chief of Staff. They’re in the Oval Office of the White House.]

Mulvaney: The thing is,
Mr. President, there are international treaties that prohibit the deliberate
destruction of cultural sites in warfare.

Trump: Depends how you
define a “cultural site,” doesn’t it, Matt?

Mulvaney: Mick, sir. My
first name is Mick.

Trump: Whatever. But
look, Kellyanne came up with a list of things I can bomb in Iran. I want you to
take a look at it and tell me what you think.

Mulvaney [studying the
list]: I can’t read this very well, sir. Her handwriting is so bad.

Trump: Yeah, well, penmanship isn’t one of Kellyanne’s strengths. She’s an intellectual.

Mulvaney: Okay, so she
has the Golestan Palace. Mr. President, that’s one of Iran’s holiest sites. It
was built in the 16th century and is where the Khans lived. The Shah
of Iran was coronated there.

Trump: Kind of like the
Trump Tower of Tehran, eh? Well, let’s keep it on the list. Boom! Gone! I have
a big military, don’t I, Milt?

Mulvaney: Mick, sir.
Yes, you have the world’s biggest military, Mr. President.

Trump: So what else is
on Kellyanne’s list?

Mulvaney: Well, she
also has Pasargadae. That’s a U.N. World Heritage Site, sir.

Trump: What is it, some
kind of theme park like Disney World?

Mulvaney: No, sir, it’s
actually an archeological site where Cyrus the great built his capital, in the
sixth century BCE.

Trump: What’s BCE?

Mulvaney: “Before the
common era,” sir. Before Christ.

Trump: Then why don’t
they say “before Christ”?

Mulvaney: I don’t know,
sir.

Trump: I think my good
friend, Franklin Graham, would be offended by that.

Mulvaney: Yes, sir. But
you see, sir, you can’t destroy Pasargadae. It would be like the Iranians
destroying Washington.

Trump: Let them try,
Muff, let them try. Boom! I’ll just drop a couple bunker busters on Khamenei.

Mulvaney: Mick, sir. Thing is, Mr. President, the Convention for the Protection of Cultural Property in the Event of Armed Conflict was signed by most of the world’s nations, including us, in 1954. It specifically says “The High Contracting Parties undertake to ensure the immunity of cultural property under special protection by refraining, from the time of entry in the International Register, from any act of hostility directed against such property and, except for the cases provided for in paragraph 5 of Article 8, from any use of such property or its surroundings for military purposes.”

Trump:
Aha! So there’s an exception! What’s that paragraph 5 Article 8?

Mulvaney:
It says, “If any cultural property mentioned in paragraph 1 of the present
Article is situated near an important military objective as defined in the said
paragraph, it may nevertheless be placed under special protection if the High
Contracting Party asking for that protection undertakes, in the event of armed
conflict, to make no use of the objective and particularly, in the case of a
port, railway station or aerodrome, to divert all traffic there from. In that
event, such diversion shall be prepared in time of peace.”

Trump:
So if a cultural site is near, say, a nuclear enrichment plant, I can still
bomb it?

Mulvaney:
No, sir, just the opposite. If Iran says it’s protected, then you have to
respect that.

Trump:
Look, Mitt, I need another opinion. Kellyanne!

[Enter
Kellyanne Conway]

Kellyanne:
Yes, Mr. President?

Trump:
Mitt here says I can’t bomb anything in Iran because everything is a cultural
site.

Mulvaney:
It’s Mick, sir, not Mitt.

Kellyanne:
That’s fake news, sir. Iran has no cultural sites.

Mulvaney:
That’s not true, Kellyanne! Who told you that?

Kellyanne:
Vice President Pence. He said Iran is a fake country.

Mulvaney:
Mr. President, you’re getting bad advice! Iran is a real country! They’re in
the United Nations!

Trump:
Pence!

[Enter
Mike…


Source : http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/steveheimoff/YKZT/~3/jh1uOOzqALI/

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